Claire. Jimbo. Randy. Ellen. No, those aren’t our friends from Craigslist; those are just a few of the toys you will find at Early to Bed, a cute little sex toy shop on Chicago’s north side. Searah, the owner, describes the shop as “women-oriented, boy-friendly, queer and trans-positive.” So basically, right up Meat Bazooka’s alley!

The store is small, but they have an awesome selection of hand-picked toys, books, and videos. They carry everything from feathers and bubble bath to anal beads and strap-ons. Whether you’re shopping for a bachelorette party or a night of filthy fucking, Early to Bed will have what you need. And no matter what your budget, you’ll be sure to leave with something to make your night a little sexier.

What we love about the store is that all of the toys are on display. Customers are encouraged to “touch, fondle and turn on” the toys. Unlike most adult toy stores, where they keep everything under glass or behind the counter, every dildo, vibrator, cock ring and harness is on full display. Germaphobes might find this a little unsettling, however. Some of the toys have a dingy look about them, so you might bring your Purell.

One unique feature of Early to Bed is its workshops. Scheduled every Tuesday at 7:30, workshop topics include the basics like “Tickle Your Fancy”, which “explores the intricacies of women’s sexuality” to “Bottom’s Up! Butt Sex for the Masses.” Wonder what they’ll be covering that night? Our money’s on butt sex. That’s truth in advertising folks!

The only real drawback of the shop is its location. It’s most likely not in an area you’ll just be strolling through on a Sunday afternoon, but it’s definitely worth a scheduled trip to the store, and is easily accessible by bus or train. If you can’t make it to the store, they have an awesome website that makes shopping online a breeze.

MeatBazooka.com Breakdown: He Said/She Said (1 is bad. 5 is good)

Atmosphere:
Miss Kingsley: Although not much from the outside, the store is inviting and cozy on the inside. It’s small, but not so small that you don’t have any privacy: 5

Jack Burton: Pleasant and completely unintimidating. I wouldn’t have known I was shopping for dildos if it wasn’t for all the…um…dildos: 5

Friendliness:
Miss Kingsley: We spent quite a while in the store before being asked if we needed help or had any questions. The salesgirl was friendly at checkout and seemed very knowledgeable about the products: 4

Jack Burton: The clerk was neither intrusive, nor particularly helpful. We didn’t exactly inundate her with questions, however: 3

Selection:
Miss Kingsley: For being such a small store, the selection is impressive and it really shows that they put a lot of thought into the items they carry: 5

Jack Burton: Early to Bed sacrifices quantity for quality. Every item seems hand selected and ranges from inexpensive to top of the line: 5

Ick Factor:
Miss Kingsley: I’d say the ick factor here is pretty non-existent. I’d feel comfortable shopping alone, with a group of girlfriends, or my lover: 5

Jack Burton: Aside from being encouraged to handle the toys, which leaves them a little dirty and makes them a tad unsightly, this place is as clean and friendly as your corner knick-knack shop. I’d let my wife shop here. Alone. And pregnant: 5

Check back next week for an exclusive interview with Early to Bed’s owner, Searah Deysach! Access! Interviews! Cock Rings! Happy Shopping!

Early to Bed
http://www.early2bed.com/
5232 N Sheridan Rd
Chicago, Il 60640
773-271-1219

*From time to time MeatBazooka.com will be featuring stores in the Chicagoland area. If you’ve got a favorite sex shop in your neck of the woods, send us a short, smart review with a high quality photo and it may be featured on the site! Send submissions/questions to admin@meatbazooka.com.