This just in: Jack Burton likes the ladies. I’m a big fan. Short ones. Tall ones. Blondes. Redheads. You name it, I’m a fan. You know what kind of girls I don’t like? Mean girls. No offense to Tina Fey. That being said, every now and then one shoots off the charts. Tips the scales. What, no weight metaphors? Ok, how about numbers? On a scale of one to ten, X-Art’s Stevie scores a whopping Pi. In other words, Jack likey.

I can’t put my finger on it really (Not for lack of trying hey-OOOOO! What? No high five? I’ll just go out the way I came…). Is it her perfect skin? Or her tantalizing pout? All of the above? Fuck if I know. You can’t measure beauty, really. Unless the yardstick is my erection. In which case, she’s surprisingly average. Shit, that didn’t work at all.

Go here, cause there’s more of Stevie, and less Jack. I’ll be in the corner, throwing away all the yardsticks.